Why Our First Gay Relationships Can Be So Emotionally Wounding

For many gay men, our earliest relationships can be deeply emotionally wounding.

The simple truth is, many of us aren’t emotionally ready for a healthy relationship at this point:

We have baggage from the closet, we don’t fully know ourselves, we don’t truly love ourselves, we don’t know how to handle or nurture the love we deeply want.

As a result, our early relationships can be messy, confusing and wounding. We often have to heal these wounds before we can love others fully.

I don’t say any of this to scare anyone, or make them feel broken.

I say this to tell you that if you’ve been there and an early relationship left you scarred or heartbroken, you’re not alone.

And I say this to tell you that if you’re going through this, or you once went through a breakup that was deeply emotionally wounding, you can heal.

A strong support network — of queer friends, of work with an experienced professional — can help a lot.