Love and Life Coaching for Gay and Bi Men
Build the fulfilling relationships you deserve
Why Work with a Coach?
If you want to…
- Date more intentionally
- Find more confidence in dating
- Build more queer community
- Or just make more meaningful connections as a gay or bi man
…coaching is the perfect space to get clarity on what you want and overcome any barriers or beliefs that are stopping you from getting it.
Coaching is similar to therapy but more practical: we’ll address all the “internal stuff” but also help you figure out concrete steps to start building more meaningful connections.
How coaching changes lives:
I sought out a dating coach because I was tired of hookup culture and wanted clarity on the kind of relationship I truly desired. Working with Ed helped me uncover my values, let go of unhelpful habits, and approach dating with more intention. By the end, I had a clear “north star” for my dating goals, actionable strategies, and the wisdom to focus on what I can control.
Over the past year, Ed has given me a safe space to explore topics and feelings I had always feared to open up about. Our sessions have helped me feel more comfortable with my identity, work through insecurities, and navigate the highs and lows of building relationships. I’m so thankful for his professional and insightful approach and the key role he is playing in my personal growth.
Working with Ed completely changed the way I look at myself as a proud bisexual man. I didn’t realize how much trauma I went through during my coming out journey. After working with Ed, I feel safer and realize it’s ok to talk it out without judgement and be my full self. His work made me understand it’s ok to be me and that I’m not alone.
How It Works
Coaching works by giving you greater self-awareness, self-confidence and self-acceptance.
It’s an integrative or 360° process, which means we’ll talk about what’s going on in your life and relationships day to day, but we’ll also consider factors like:
- Your attachment style
- Your life and lifestyle beyond your relationships
- Your deepest beliefs about yourself and your relationships
- Your prior experiences and how they might be affecting you today
As a coach, I don’t tell you what to do — you’re the person who knows your life best. But I do offer you a space you can be completely yourself, with zero judgment, and will offer suggestions or opportunities you might not have considered when they’re helpful.
As gay and bi men, we pick up a lot of unhelpful beliefs about ourselves and about love, often without realizing it. So coaching is the “circuit breaker” most of us need to quit the behaviors and beliefs that aren’t working so we can build the connections we deserve.
If you’re ready for a happier and more fulfilling personal life, I’d love to help — book your free consultation today.
Common areas relationship coaching can help you with:
For single men
How to make better connections online // How to meet great partners offline // How to flirt with others // Better communication and boundaries // Support recovering from a breakup // How to break up with hookup culture and finding a long-term partner
For men in relationships
How to work through relationship conflicts // Deciding whether to stay or leave a relationship // Better boundaries and more honest communication // Navigating non-monogamy // Building a more vulnerable, more intimate relationship
Life coaching for all men
Overcoming low confidence and self-esteem // How to deal with loneliness and find queer community // Support with “coming out” and identity // How to building a more fulfilling life as a queer person // How to navigate family relationships as a queer person
…plus many more: ask in your free consultation if there’s another area you want support with.
My Coaching Values
These are the values that make up my core coaching philosophy, honed over more than twenty years as a teacher, mentor and coach. They’re what I’ll offer you throughout the time we work together:
Integrity
Trust is essential in our coaching relationship, and I’ll always be direct and honest with you. I’m interested in what’s best for you long-term, and not afraid to challenge you gently when needed.
Human Connection
I’m not like an old-school therapist who hides behind their notes and treats you like someone who needs “fixing.” In your sessions we come together to interact as two human beings.
Flexibility
I don’t subscribe to a “school” of coaching or follow a one-size-fits-all “method.” My approach is to be present and be guided by you and what you need most, both within each session and in the longer-term.
Empathy
Whatever you’re going through, helping you through it means understanding you and your situation in detail. In all of your sessions, I’ll listen with care and empathy to whatever’s on your mind.
Rates and Availability
I work with some people for a handful of sessions on a specific challenge or issue, and offer some people ongoing support over months or even years. I coach online, so I work with men from all over the world.
My standard coaching rate is £75 or $95 for an hour’s session, but most people sign up for a package of sessions at a more economical rate:
Find out more: Coaching Packages
In your initial consultation we can discuss what will serve your needs best.
I also have a limited number of sliding scale sessions available for people who need them. If you need access to these, let me know in your initial inquiry.
The benefits of relationship coaching
Most people start to benefit from relationship coaching from their very first session — here’s what to expect when we work together.
A space for understanding and empathy
Your sessions are a non-judgmental space where you can be yourself and talk about whatever you want. They’re a space you can be messy and human, explore your wants and needs, and learn new skills for navigating life.
More confidence
Life can be challenging for queer men, and many of us struggle with self-confidence. Coaching will help you develop a stronger sense of self and self-worth, which means you’ll navigate your relationships more successfully and more confidently.
Strategies and guidance
Coaches don’t really give advice — ultimately you’re the person who’ll decide what’s best for you. But together we’ll strategize and plan, and draw on my vast knowledge of proven techniques and strategies to help you transform your personal life.
Gain more self-awareness
A lot of people are dating on autopilot, and aren’t making decisions in line with their true wants and needs. Relationship coaching will increase your self-awareness so you can make better and more confident decisions about what’s right for you.
Get accountability
As a coach, I’ll give you the support you need. Sometimes, that means offering you empathy and listening ear. But I’ll also hold you accountable where you need it, so you implement the positive changes that will move you towards a happier personal life.
The work to build great relationships starts within — and it’s my honor to guide you through it.
From our first session, Ed developed in me a natural desire for personal growth. He’s trustworthy and sensitive, always willing to hear you and make you realise improvements you can make daily.
My sessions with Ed really helped me get a new view of how I approach dating or building new connections. Ed is great at listening, showing empathy and providing a helpful perspective to deal with challenges in dating.
I was very impressed with the services Ed provided during my 2-month period.
Prior to coaching, I needed guidance on how to market myself on dating applications. During our sessions, Ed helped me dissect my dating profile and provide feedback to increase my matches. He provided great coaching.
After completing these coaching sessions, I feel better prepared with dating apps, I know how to weed out individuals who are not intentional, and I feel better with initial difficult conversations.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why work with a relationship coach?
Simply put, gay relationships can be challenging, and working with an experienced and empathetic coach will help you resolve whatever you’re struggling with more quickly and easily.
One thing I’ll also say from experience is that many gay and bi men stay stuck with limiting or self-sabotaging patterns in their personal life, and it takes working with a coach to properly identify and overcome these.
A relationship coach is not just a personal trainer for dating and relationships, but a personal trainer for your mind — they’ll help you get past negative beliefs, behaviors that aren’t serving you, and any doubts or fears that are stopping you living your best life.
Is relationship coaching like therapy?
Coaching and therapy have similarities but also some key differences.
Therapy is usually focused on your emotional past, and therapists can diagnose and treat certain conditions.
Coaching is much more practical — while we might talk about your emotions and prior relationships, we’ll focus on the present and future, and the active steps you can take to build a happier personal life.
If you’re struggling with your mental health, therapy is definitely the right service for you. If you’re looking for direct and practical ways to improve your personal life, coaching will probably be a better fit for you.
If at any point I think what you really need is therapy not coaching, I’ll make that clear to you.
Why shouldn't I just ask my friends for support?
Finding community as queer men is really important, and coaching isn’t supposed to replace finding that for you.
That said, our friends usually aren’t as equipped to support you in the ways you need it as a trained professional. Friends will often just tell you what they’d do — which might not be right for you. Friends often will side with you too much, which can stop you from gaining valuable self-awareness on how you might be contibuting to a situation or relationship dynamic.
As a trained coach, I can be much more impartial — on your side in the long run, but also able to help you see the bigger picture.
Where are your clients usually based?
I work with queer men via Zoom and the phone all across the world.
Are the sessions confidential?
Yes, of course. I hold sessions privately and securely on Zoom or the phone. We can talk about whatever you want in full confidentiality.
What are your qualifications for this work?
I’m a certified professional coach with the Academy of Creative Coaching, on a program accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), one of the leading coaching organizations. That means I follow the ICF’s code of ethics in all my coaching work.
I’m the author of Boys Who Like Boys, a popular book on LGBTQ+ dating in the internet age, and also hold degrees from Cambridge University and the Royal College of Music.
What kind of men do you work with?
Honestly, the only two things my clients have in common is that they’re queer (GBTQ+) men and that they care about personal development and building strong and meaningful relationships.
Beyond that I work with a wide variety of people, of every age, nationality and background. Many are professionals, business owners, creators and artists — but that’s definitely not a rule.
Do you only work with LGBTQ+ clients?
I focus on working with queer men partly because I am one, but mostly because I’m an expert in helping people overcome the specific issues gay, bi and queer men often face.
That said, I also work with people who might be questioning their identity or exploring a new one. If you think I can help you move forward in your personal life, get in touch and let’s chat.
Do you offer couples/partners sessions?
I only offer relationship coaching via one-to-one sessions right now. I’m hoping to be able to offer group and couples sessions in future though.
Questions? Get in touch!
If you have a question that’s not answered on this page, send me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.