Relationship Coaching for Gay and Bi Men
Break through blocks and build more fulfilling relationships
It’s not just you: making meaningful connections in our community is hard.
As gay and bi men, most of us were just left to figure out relationships on our own, without clear role models or queer-specific relationship support.
Then add to that all of the emotional baggage and variable self-esteem we inherit from growing up queer, and it’s no surprise that genuine love and connection can feel so hard to find.
As a gay relationship coach, I’m an expert in the common barriers that stop us finding and maintaining meaningful connections — and what you can do to overcome them.
So whether you’re just not attracting the right-fit partner, you’re the gay guy who’s found success in everything except his romantic life, or you just want to have more confidence in dating, I’ll give you the tools and support you need to build the relationships you actually want.
Want to explore what this support could look like for you? Just book a free, no obligation discovery call and let’s chat.
What Clients Are Saying
I sought out a dating coach because I was tired of hookup culture and wanted clarity on the kind of relationship I truly desired. Working with Ed helped me uncover my values, let go of unhelpful habits, and approach dating with more intention. By the end, I had a clear “north star” for my dating goals, actionable strategies, and the wisdom to focus on what I can control.
Over the past year, Ed has given me a safe space to explore topics and feelings I had always feared to open up about. Our sessions have helped me feel more comfortable with my identity, work through insecurities, and navigate the highs and lows of building relationships. I’m so thankful for his professional and insightful approach and the key role he is playing in my personal growth.
Working with Ed completely changed the way I look at myself as a proud bisexual man. I didn’t realize how much trauma I went through during my coming out journey. After working with Ed, I feel safer and realize it’s ok to talk it out without judgement and be my full self. His work made me understand it’s ok to be me and that I’m not alone.
Relationship Coaching in Short:
Get Emotional Clarity
- Heal dating-related shame, trauma and avoidance
- Identify your true wants and needs in relationships
- Build emotional availability — and identify it in others
- Break out of anxious or avoidant patterns
Learn Practical Tools
- Make the apps work for you, not against you
- Learn how to meet great new people in real life
- Communicate your wants and needs with confidence
- Build connections with purpose and intention
We’ll Probably Be a Great Fit Together If:
- You’re bored of superficial relationships and ready for something deeper
- You want to become the best version of yourself and attract more genuine connections
- You’ve done some inner work already but still feel stuck in your relationships
- You want to find more confidence and flow in your personal life
- You’re open to emotional growth and ready to try new things
Want to know more about how coaching could help? Just book a free consultation today.
Common areas relationship coaching can help you with:
For single men
How to make better connections online // How to meet great partners offline // How to flirt // How to recover after a breakup // How to break up with hookup culture and find a long-term partner
For men in relationships
How to work through relationship conflicts // Deciding whether to stay or leave a relationship // Better boundaries and more honest communication // Navigating non-monogamy // Building a more vulnerable, more intimate relationship
Life coaching for all men
How to overcome low confidence and self-esteem // How to deal with loneliness and find queer community // Support with identity and “coming out” // How to building a more fulfilling life as a gay or bi man // How to navigate family relationships as a gay or queer person
How Does Coaching Work?
My coaching works by giving you greater self-awareness, self-confidence and self-acceptance.
It’s an integrative or 360° process, which means we’ll explore a wide range of factors including:
- Your attachment style
- Your life and lifestyle beyond your relationships
- Your deepest beliefs about yourself and your relationships
- Your prior experiences and how they might be impacting you today
Coaches don’t tell you what to do — you know your life best. But as well as giving you a space you can be completely yourself with zero judgment, I’ll often offer strategies and techniques that can help you get what you want.
As gay and bi men, most of us pick up limiting and unhelpful beliefs about love and about ourselves, often without realizing it. So whether you need practical tools or deeper inner work to start building better relationships, my coaching is the ideal “circuit breaker” to get you there.
The work to build better relationships starts within — it’s my honor to guide you through it.
Rates and Availability
I offer a variety of packages to suit different needs:
Standard packages are ideal if you want support with a specific area, or ongoing support over months or years. Single sessions are £75 or $95, and I offer even better rates on session packages:
Find out more: Standard Packages
Premium packages offer you my deepest level of guidance and support — and also support me in the free resources I create for our community.
Find out more: Premium Packages
Some reduced-rate sessions are also available for those who need them. If you have questions about rates, ask me about it in your discovery call.
My Coaching Values
These are the values that make up my core coaching philosophy, honed over more than twenty years as a teacher, mentor and coach. They’re what I’ll offer you throughout the time we work together:
Integrity
Trust is essential in our coaching relationship, and I’ll always be direct and honest with you. I’m interested in what’s best for you long-term, and not afraid to challenge you gently when needed.
Human Connection
I’m not like an old-school therapist who hides behind their notes and treats you like someone who needs “fixing.” In your sessions we come together to interact as two human beings.
Flexibility
I don’t subscribe to a “school” of coaching or follow a one-size-fits-all “method.” My approach is to be present and be guided by you and what you need most, both within each session and in the longer-term.
Empathy
Whatever you’re going through, helping you through it means understanding you and your situation in detail. In all of your sessions, I’ll listen with care and empathy to whatever’s on your mind.
From our first session, Ed developed in me a natural desire for personal growth. He’s trustworthy and sensitive, always willing to hear you and make you realise improvements you can make daily.
My sessions with Ed really helped me get a new view of how I approach dating or building new connections. Ed is great at listening, showing empathy and providing a helpful perspective to deal with challenges in dating.
I was very impressed with the services Ed provided during my 2-month period.
Prior to coaching, I needed guidance on how to market myself on dating applications. During our sessions, Ed helped me dissect my dating profile and provide feedback to increase my matches. He provided great coaching.
After completing these coaching sessions, I feel better prepared with dating apps, I know how to weed out individuals who are not intentional, and I feel better with initial difficult conversations.
The benefits of relationship coaching
Most people start to benefit from relationship coaching from their very first session — here’s a deeper guide to what you’ll get when we work together.
A space for understanding and empathy
Your sessions are a non-judgmental space where you can be yourself and talk about whatever you want. They’re a space you can be messy and human, explore your wants and needs, and learn new skills for navigating life.
More confidence
Life can be challenging for queer men, and many of us struggle with self-confidence. Coaching will help you develop a stronger sense of self and self-worth, which means you’ll navigate your relationships more successfully and more confidently.
Strategies and guidance
Coaches don’t really give advice — ultimately you’re the person who’ll decide what’s best for you. But together we’ll strategize and plan, and draw on my vast knowledge of proven techniques and strategies to help you transform your personal life.
More self-awareness
A lot of people are dating on autopilot, and aren’t making decisions in line with their true wants and needs. Relationship coaching will increase your self-awareness so you can make better and more confident decisions about what’s right for you.
Purpose and accountability
As a coach, I’ll give you the support you need. Sometimes, that means offering you empathy and listening ear. But I’ll also hold you accountable when you need it, so you make the positive changes that will move you towards a happier personal life.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why work with a relationship coach?
Simply put, gay relationships can be challenging, and working with an experienced and empathetic coach will help you resolve whatever you’re struggling with more quickly and easily.
One thing I’ll also say from experience is that many gay and bi men stay stuck with limiting or self-sabotaging patterns in their personal life, and it takes working with a coach to properly identify and overcome these.
A relationship coach is not just a personal trainer for dating and relationships, but a personal trainer for your mind, heart and soul — they’ll help you get past negative beliefs, behaviors that aren’t serving you, and any doubts or fears that are stopping you living your best life.
Is relationship coaching like therapy?
Coaching and therapy have similarities but also some key differences.
Therapy is usually focused on your emotional past, and therapists can diagnose and treat certain conditions.
Coaching is much more practical — while we might talk about your emotions and prior relationships, we’ll focus on the present and future, and the active steps you can take to build a happier personal life.
If you’re struggling with your mental health, therapy is definitely the right service for you. If you’re looking for direct and practical ways to improve your personal life, coaching will probably be a better fit for you.
If at any point I think what you really need is therapy not coaching, I’ll make that clear to you.
Why shouldn't I just ask my friends for support?
Finding community as queer men is really important, and coaching isn’t supposed to replace finding that for you.
That said, our friends usually aren’t as equipped to support you in the ways you need it as a trained professional. Friends will often just tell you what they’d do — which might not be right for you. Friends often will side with you too much, which can stop you from gaining valuable self-awareness on how you might be contibuting to a situation or relationship dynamic.
As a trained coach, I can be much more impartial — on your side in the long run, but also able to help you see the bigger picture.
Where are your clients usually based?
I work with queer men via Zoom and the phone all across the world.
Are the sessions confidential?
Yes, of course. I hold sessions privately and securely on Zoom or the phone. We can talk about whatever you want in full confidentiality.
What are your qualifications for this work?
I’m a certified professional coach with the Academy of Creative Coaching, on a program accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), one of the world’s most respected coaching organizations. That means I follow the ICF’s code of ethics in all my coaching work.
I’m the author of Boys Who Like Boys, a popular book on LGBTQ+ dating in the internet age, and also hold degrees from Cambridge University and the Royal College of Music.
Can you guarantee I'll find a partner by working with you?
If we work together, I can promise transformation — that you’ll come out of the process with a new perspective on dating and relationships, new skills for building deeper connection, and deeper self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-love. These are skills and qualities that you’ll keep for the rest of your life.
Many clients I work with do find great partners while we work together. Others do the work then meet great-fit partners weeks or months later. Plenty in dating and relationships comes down to timing and chance, which nobody can control.
In short, my coaching isn’t about saying “Work with me, and you’ll find your life partner in six weeks.” But it is a promise that says “Work with me and you’ll show up differently in your relationships — more aligned, more grounded, more present — and that will radically increase your ability to create meaningful connections when they present themselves.”
What kind of men do you work with?
As a coach I’ve worked with a wide range of people, of every age, nationality and background. I’ve worked with many professionals, creative artists, entrepreneurs and C-suite executives.
But honestly, the only universal thing my clients share is that they’re queer men who care about personal development and building strong and meaningful relationships.
Do you only work with LGBTQ+ clients?
I focus on working with queer men partly because I am one, but mostly because I’m an expert in helping people overcome the specific issues gay, bi and queer men often face.
That said, I also work with people who might be questioning their identity or exploring a new one. If you think I can help you move forward in your personal life, get in touch and let’s chat.
Do you offer couples/partners sessions?
I only offer relationship coaching via one-to-one sessions right now. I’m hoping to be able to offer group and couples sessions in future though.
Questions? Get in touch!
If you have a question that’s not answered on this page, send me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.